The Art of Finding Joy

Alisha’s journey with cervical cancer

A Clean Canvas

 

For a long time, Alisha felt like she was in control of her life. She was a young, single mom in the 90s, working as a hairstylist, and raising her young daughter. She loved to travel and go to concerts with her friends.
Life had its challenges, but things were neat and in order. The decisions were hers.
Life was like a fresh canvas, full of possibilities.

 

When she was 30 years old, Alisha began experiencing spotting between her periods.
Her friends suggested that maybe birth control could help regulate her cycles,
so she booked an appointment with her gynecologist.
That appointment would change her life.

During her routine Pap smear, the gynecologist found a tumor that was large enough to see during the exam.
The Pap test and other diagnostic results came back two weeks later—Alisha had cervical cancer.

Confused and in shock, she sat in the doctor’s office while fear took over—not only for herself but for her daughter.

“As a mom,” Alisha recalls, “I let my mind run wild with thoughts of what my daughter would do growing up without a mother.”

“As a mom, I let my mind run wild with thoughts of what my daughter would do growing up without a mother.”

In just one moment, she felt like she had completely lost control of the life she knew. The fear and uncertainty of what the future held weighed heavily on her.

It was hard to explain to her eight-year-old daughter what was happening. As a mother, she always wanted to remain strong. When life became a whirlwind of doctor’s appointments and treatments, she worried about how everything would affect her daughter; and yet, she was also grateful to have her by her side.

Alisha underwent radiation, chemotherapy, and radiation implants. The plan was to shrink her tumor as much as possible before undergoing a radical hysterectomy.

Following surgery, Alisha was told that her tumor was completely gone and she was in remission. Three-month follow-ups gradually became yearly visits, and over time, her cancer history seemed to be just that—a part of her past.

“I knew instantly
my cancer had
come back.”
 
 

The Color Red

 

For 22 years, Alisha was in remission. She watched her daughter grow up into a successful woman and have children of her own. Alisha continued her career as a hairstylist and enjoyed the freedom to travel internationally.

But one morning, at 51 years old, Alisha woke up with a pool of blood underneath her, seeping into her mattress.

“I knew instantly my cancer had come back.”

She called her oncologist, and he told her to come in immediately. The bleeding was due to a vaginal tear, and they would wait to do a biopsy after the tear healed.

After six weeks, the biopsy came back showing cancer cells. The doctor biopsied additional areas, and every single one came back as cancerous. Alisha was diagnosed with advanced cervical cancer, which meant her cancer had returned or spread to other parts of her body. She felt like she was losing control again.

Two Cups of Paint

 

Alisha underwent chemotherapy, and this time, she lost her hair.
Losing her hair was one of the most difficult sacrifices she had to make, especially as a hairstylist.

“I kept my walls up and acted like everything was fine, and I worked up the courage not to burst into tears as I told my friends and family that, yet again, I have cancer.” During those 22 years since her first battle, Alisha had lost her mother, who was her biggest support system. Without her mom by her side, she felt very alone.

That’s when she turned to making paintings. Alisha always loved making art, and when she learned more about drip painting from a video online, she wanted to try it.

She would paint after chemotherapy sessions—or whenever she felt overwhelmed by the gravity of her diagnosis—or even when she just needed time to think. Making art gave her the time and space to feel what she was feeling. Whether she was sad, angry, confused, or grieving, she put on her paint-splattered apron and let the paint guide her, exploring and filling the blank canvas, full of possibility.

She watched as the colors cascaded and merged in various surprising ways. With each drop of paint that fell, so would her frustrations, her anger, her anxiety.

 
 

The colors and shapes on the canvas sometimes speak louder than words ever could. She found a way to relinquish control, by choice, and process her grief. Drip painting allowed her to escape thoughts dominated by her diagnosis and treatment to contemplate beauty and wonder. Painting made her realize she could live through challenges and do it in her own authentic way even without having complete control.

“You can have two cups of paint, layered the same way, and the paintings will come out totally different.”

There were days when her emotions were intense or unpredictable and she could watch as the paint poured onto the canvas in wild patterns that mirrored her feelings. But painting always held serendipity, the chance to transform her feelings, and immerse herself in the process.

Her cancer initially responded to the chemotherapy, but in less than a year, it was back. Alisha was also treated with immunotherapy, but it didn’t work for her.

“I hit a roadblock. I didn’t know how to keep fighting.”

But then, her doctor told her about TIVDAK® (tisotumab vedotin-tftv), a prescription medicine to treat adults with advanced cervical cancer. Her doctor explained that unlike traditional chemotherapy, TIVDAK is an antibody-drug conjugate, or ADC, which attacks cells that have a special protein. The special protein, Tissue Factor, is also present on some normal cells. So, TIVDAK can still harm normal cells, which can cause side effects.

TIVDAK can cause serious side effects including eye problems, nerve problems, bleeding problems, lung problems, severe skin reactions, and may harm an unborn baby. Please see the Important Facts about TIVDAK for more information on these and other side effects.

Alisha felt renewed hope, and after discussing all the potential risks and benefits, she made the decision to begin treatment in consultation with her doctor. As a mother, a grandmother, a friend, a stylist, an artist, and so much more—Alisha knew she still had something to say, and with TIVDAK as a treatment option, she found her path forward.

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From Pain to Beauty

 

Alisha’s latest journey with cancer brought on new challenges, but she’s made a choice to keep fighting. While cancer changed the way she thought her life would look, she is able to see the beauty and find deep purpose in self-expression and being with loved ones.

She focuses on the people in her life who matter most, and the things that bring her joy, like her art. Finding her path forward through so many challenges has also made Alisha recognize her own bravery, strength, and ingenuity.

“I can live my life in fear, or I can live my life.” And looking at a blank canvas, Alisha always sees a new work of art.

 
“I can live my life in fear,
or I can live my life.”
 

Watch Alisha’s Full Story

 

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